It’s Monday guys. Just in case you hadn’t noticed. But I bet most of you had! I know I did. And how did I come to realise it was Monday?

Because I drank a glorious cup of HOT COFFEE!

And suddenly, my day-telling prowess increased by around about three-fold. No longer did I have a head weighed down by work-a-day worries; I had a head SPINNING with WONDERFUL COFFEE FEEL! I also was able to function like a normal human being (finally AM I RIGHT?!) – to answer emails, to pace around frantically, to wonder if there is a god, to rub my temples seriously, to gawp at a frog, JUST LIKE ANY MEMBER OF THE HUMAN RACE!! All because of a simple hot cup of coffee!

The drinking process I prefer is thus:

  • Make the coffee.
  • Sniff the coffee.
  • Drink the coffee.

Let’s unpack that a bit.

Make the coffee. You can do this however you prefer. I prefer to use coffee beans and smash them into a fine powder and then douse them in scalding hot water. I find this makes for a great mug o’ the brown stuff.

Sniff the coffee. 90% of coffee is consumed in the smell. The rest is just a thin brown gruel. It’s a widely accepted fact that coffee smells great and kick starts your brain like a great jolt of electricity kick starts your nether regions.

Drink the coffee. Gulp down the bitter nectar with a grimace.

Not convinced?

Okay. So let’s go back to that Monday feeling shall we?

How we all look on a Monday morning. Every. Single. One of us.

That’s how we all look on a Monday. Every single one of us souls. Without exception. But with the simple addition of one cup o’ steaming joe, we can all feel like this:

Me, after a glorious cup of coffee. And you, also. And everyone.

So join me in raising a steaming hot cup of coffee a little too high in the air and declaring “We love this stuff, it makes us feel like normal folks!”

Overall, I highly recommend drinking hot coffee on a Monday, or indeed any day of the week. For a similar feeling, boil up some grit and tar and gulp that down! All hail coffee!